Friday, April 23, 2010

Happy Earth Day Brainwashing Festival!

So, Yesterday was the Annual Earth Day Brainwashing Festival. Avatar also came out on DVD yesterday, but not in 3D. FU Cameron. As if Avatar wasn't blatant enough about it's misanthropic radical enviromentalism, which I take great offense to, it comes out on Earth Day. You know what's sad? If you divorce Avatar from its anti-human ideology, which I loath, I actually kind of like the movie. Still, it's way overhyped. It's not remotely originally. It's Pochahontos, it's Ferngully, it's Dances with Wolves, it's Independence Day with the Humans playing the evil aliens, and I could go on. The Navi are the most cliched noble savages I've ever seen. They're such ridiculous caricatures that I couldn't emphasize with them at all. I was routing for the Humans the whole movie. I knew they'd lose, but I'm a browncoat so that's okay. I've read on the internet that some people became depressed after watching Avatar because they couldn't really go to Pandora. The Fuck!? Seriously, the Navi are a bunch of freaks. If I had to choose between a recent 3D movie, I'd pick Wonderland over Pandora, because at least the people in Wonderland know they're mad. One scene I take umbridge with was when the Traitor Jake Sully killed his first whatchathing, and he says this little prayer to thank it for the gift of its life. This is insanely hypocritical. You don't respect animals by thanking them for 'letting' you kill them. They didn't let you. You respect animals by not killing them. I do not respect the animals I eat, because those two things are mutally exclusive. When cultured meat comes out, maybe then I can respect a cow, but not now. Another thing that pisses me off is that the whole conflict in the movie could have been avoided if the Traitor Jake Sully had simply done his goddamn job. He had three months to convince them to move, and he never once brought it up. He decided for them that they wouldn't want to negotiate, but he never gave them that choice! He should have offered them iPhones. Everyone loves iPhones. Free iPhones for every member of the tribe if they just move to another tree. If you check Avatar's wiki, it makes it pretty clear that without the unobtainium, Human civilization would basically collapse. The Traitor Jake Sully condemns billions of people to suffering and death, just so that he can play Mighty Whitey. Asshole. I also don't understand why Evil Megacorp has to destroy the Hometree to get at the deposit. Can't they dig down diagonally from somewhere else? Or can't they dig straight down, and then sideways? And the Humans have such wimpy explosives. They should just nuke the Navi from orbit, or fly their aircraft higher so that the Navi can't get at them, or at least give them doors! And why are the windows made of such fragile glass? We have stonger transparent materials than that. In real life Ewoks could never defeat the Empire. Well, I've rambled on enough for now. Below you'll find some Avatar spoofs I got on Youtube. I did not make these, they do not belong to me, they belong to others, I own nothing. Enjoy.

No comments:

Post a Comment